Your values called. They want a word

I've been working with a client on their values recently and I continue to be excited by the value in working with values.

Values represent what is important to you in life. Values can help you understand what drives you, what you enjoy, what inspires you and what you would like more of in your life.

Imagine you're holding a compass. It doesn't tell you how long the journey will take, or what lies ahead. But it does point you in the direction that matters most. That's what working with values achieves.

What direction are you heading?

So, what are values?

I like to think of values as guiding principles. They can point you in the 'right' direction when faced with a difficult decision, when you're feeling stuck, or when figuring out how to respond to a challenging work/business situation. They can also guide behaviour and action in everyday life (See below for further details).

Values aren't to be confused with goals. Or outcomes. A goal might be to "get promoted". A value might be "personal growth".

You can tick off goals. But values? They're ongoing. They're lived, not completed.

Exploring your values

Have you connected with your values?

If you want to identify your values, picking them from a list is one way. It's often challenging to make a list of values whilst staring at a blank sheet of paper. I'm a fan of using Values cards with clients (see image) and sorting through them and narrowing them into a core set. I encourage clients to re-label any emerging values into language that resonates with them.

Not everyone works well with lists and words, that's why I might ask you to think about past situations where your buttons were pushed, or you felt really pissed off.  Those moments are often useful to draw upon to determine what value wasn't being met in the moment, and in turn, matters to you. Conversely, if a situation or moment made you feel proud or accomplished, it's likely one or more values were being honoured, recognised or upheld.

I have used the Values cards to establish the GU6ix values, i.e. the values that matter most to me as a business owner and how I want to show up in the world. I've even added my own words to those values to help bring them to life...

Bringing values to life

Values don't add value if they simply exist on a list or in a deck of cards. There needs to be a translation of values into expressed behaviour. If it's not something you can do then it's not a value (Harris, 2009). I love the following description of personal values:

"The personal qualities a person most wants to express in his or her behaviour."

Bringing values to life doesn't necessarily mean making massive changes, or overhauling who you are. It's worth starting small, and reflecting on some concrete actions that you may already be expressing in daily life or would like to start doing. You may find this really easy, or if you're like me, find it a little more difficult to do and articulate (even as a Psychologist!). Starting small is key.

But don't wait until a challenging situation arises to bring your values to life; it will likely feel awkward, perhaps even 'mechanical'. If you are able to bring your values to life every day (in whatever form), navigating those situations in a way that aligns with your values will be much easier and smoother.

A few final pointers...

1. Values are unique

"Values are like fingerprints, nobody's are the same..." (Elvis Presley).

Your values are yours, not others'. Don't expect other people's values to align with yours. And even if there is alignment, they may not be expressed in the same way that you express yours. They are your guiding principles for how you want to behave, not how others ought to behave towards you.

2. Principles not rules

   
   

   Some values can be stable over time, whilst others may change. There's flexibility in our values. At the start of your career, "achievement" and "risk-taking" might form part of your core values. Later in your career, you may value "family" and "stability".

   Values can also be situational; what's true for you in your personal life may not be true for you at work. For example, in my personal life "nature" is a core value (expressed through gardening and growing my own vegetables) but it's not a core value as a business owner and that's okay (although that might change one day - watch this space).

   
   

3. Values aren't just for coaching

   
   

   Working with values shouldn't come to a stop once you leave the coaching space. They ought to be lived every day. There may be things along the way that interfere with your ability to act in line with your values. But that's all part of the human experience, so I encourage you to stick with it however best you can.

   
   

So, I ask you: Have you connected with your values? How do you find bringing them to life and what value do you gain from being value-led?

Thank you for reading - it means a lot.  

Shona